EVERYTHING I DRIVE WILL NOW BE CONSIDERED SLOW AND UNEXCITING....

"Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras" (jegoingout)
01/07/2016 at 15:19 • Filed to: Tesla is life. Tesla is love

Brand awareness is an amazing thing. It’s also the only way a 21 year old can be given a Model S P85D to drive around in for an hour. God bless you Elon Musk.

Let’s get the D jokes out of the way. !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! Caitlin offered the D, I took the D, the D was amazing.

The only new car I really got to drive before this was the Miata when Mazda let me chuck one around the Meadowlands and the nicest car I ever got to ride in was an Evoque. This is going to be a totally unbiased review since I really had no bar set before.

Exterior : LOOK AT THAT FISH. IT’S A BEAUTIFUL FISH. Besides the Audi A7, there isn’t a better looking sedan on the market. This one came in this nice white with a small carbon fiber (fake?) spoiler on the back trunk. Despite this car being a few years old, it still makes my head turn.

Interior: As I said above, I did not set a bar for this car to reach or exceed. I have never been driven in a S Class, never drove a 7 series, and never demanded a poor person to move over while cruising in a Range Rover. The most luxurious car I can compare this to is my 13 year old TL-S.

This model was a top of the line version with tan leather, this half black leather/half ugly alcantara dashboard, this subjective wood trim, and shiny metal trim on the door handles. The finish seemed quite nice, especially for a vehicle that’s being beaten and abused by various geeks like me who get a slight boner knowing Tesla does this. The seats were comfortable, though at 5’ 10’ and 145 lbs, I felt a little small for them. My TL’s seats feel like they had more side cushioning, but that’s about the only compliment I can give. I never really took note to the lack of a center console, it felt weird starring at the open space like ‘the fuck’?

Performance: SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!111!11!!111!!1111!11!!!!!!!11111!!!!!!!!!!!11111!!1111111!!111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Acura Integra was rated at 140 hp/124lb-ft when new

My TL-S when new was rated at 260hp/232lb-ft

The P85D has 687lb-ft. That’s nearly double what my two cars made combined.

This car has single handily ruined my perception of fast and until I own one, it has ruined every single car for me as well. I will never experience the fear of going full plaid while grinning like an idiot again until I own a P85D.

What it’s like to drive: It feels massive, partly because it is massive. While it may be 2.5” longer than my TL, it’s a good 2,000lbs heavier. Its weight doesn’t show when it get on the throttle but when turning it felt like a yacht on wheels. Visibility is good, though you’ll never see out the back window and the rear view mirror didn’t help that. Thankfully the P85D has elephant ears for side view mirrors.

The Jersey roads are not far from horrid but they’re not smooth either. The Model S took bumps okay, I did expect it to be a little smoother in all honesty. I could get use to driving it around town on a daily basis though. On the highway it’s just a whole different beast. I still cannot fathom how quickly it picked up pace and how fast I was going until I realized it.

I now fully understand how some people do not like regenerative braking. Having never driven a car with one before today, it took me a few blocks to get use to it. I’m not a fan.

While the Model S I drove did have the semi autonomous features ready to be used, I was too busy having fun to let a machine take the wheel. I feel like it was the right choice at the time, but I do now regret not having my mind blown.

Final Impressions: Unless I go win the lottery I cannot even dream to afford one of these anytime soon. For the sake of my license it’s probably a good thing. For the sake of my thrill seeking stupidity, I am sad. Elon, you are a great man for creating such a machine and letting your average day Joe drive them for no reason. Now though, where is my Model 3?

DISCUSSION (22)

Tripper > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras
01/07/2016 at 15:34

“ Its weight doesn’t show when it get on the throttle but when turning it felt like a yacht on wheels.”

How much did that take away from the experience? Was there a lot of roll, or was it just heavy? Understeer?

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > Tripper
01/07/2016 at 15:37

I didn’t feel any or much body roll. It was just flat out heavy.

djmt1 > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras
01/07/2016 at 15:43

I both love and hate riding in high end luxury cars. A couple of years ago my sister got me an hour of hoonage in a E63 AMG and since then I’ve become a full on ride quality snob but then again power sliding while having your arse massaged does that to you. Speaking of which was it silence or were there things like tyre/wind noise etc.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > djmt1
01/07/2016 at 15:44

the future is very quiet

Rico > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras
01/07/2016 at 15:44

Nice, glad it was fun. A few points, did they show you that you can keep the rearview camera on at all times and split the screen in the center to always display it and another app like music/maps? That helps significantly with the rear visibility as the lens is really wide.

Also the one I had had a sport seats option that was very aggressively bolstered, I assume this one didn’t have it?

It was these but all black:

Kinja'd!!!

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > Rico
01/07/2016 at 15:45

Yeah I did have a little fun backing up and splitting the screen in two, it does help a ton.

This one did not have the sports seats. Those look stunning

Rico > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras
01/07/2016 at 15:46

They felt really great! Also did you notice how much space there was without the transmission tunnel on the floor? So much room for activities!/step brothers quote

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > Rico
01/07/2016 at 15:48

yeah I really didn’t know how to take the lack of a center area there. It seems like a great place to store shit but I did ask and she mentioned how they do offer something to put there if open space bothers you

pjhusa > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras
01/07/2016 at 15:54

How were you allowed to drive this again?!

Tripper > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras
01/07/2016 at 15:54

Gotcha, well that’s good. You can’t really change the heavy factor on a car like that, but if it corners flat it’s much more tolerable.

Everyone talks about how quickly they accelerate, but I’m afraid that won’t be enough to get me over the EV hump. We’ll have to see though I can’t be an armchair critic. Maybe this weekend or next!

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > pjhusa
01/07/2016 at 15:55

Cause Tesla.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > Tripper
01/07/2016 at 15:56

Honestly I was sold as soon as I got in, granted I was never against Tesla to begin with. Hope you get a chance to get behind the wheel of one!

FazeRacer > djmt1
01/07/2016 at 15:56

It should motivate you to become a high earner. Then you can enjoy the finer things in things. So no to mediocrity.

Rico > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras
01/07/2016 at 16:03

I guess but the open space means you can play footsies

Tripper > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras
01/07/2016 at 16:15

I’d say that’s the popular opinion. I’m kind of psyched to go into TD as a skeptic. I’m not against the brand, but I’m not in love with the look (of the model s in particular). However my main point of contention is the slew of other cars that I would rather have for 100k. All of those other cars come with the bonus of not having to be plugged in and make beautiful music.

There are two Tesla dealers within a 7 mile radius of my house, so I have no reason not to take one for a spin.

wiffleballtony > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras
01/07/2016 at 16:18

I’ll be honest. My view of Tesla is highly marred by my experience in one of their so called show rooms. It was like someone had decided the let a bunch of Apple fan boys run a car dealership.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > Tripper
01/07/2016 at 16:24

Fair point in regards to what you could buy. I always told myself I’d buy a nice GTR for the Model S money. Afer that hour though...I’d really have to think

Spasoje > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras
01/07/2016 at 17:23

Hold on – they let you drive it around alone without a salesperson? (or did I just assume so)

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > Spasoje
01/07/2016 at 17:27

oh no. The woman standing next to the car in the first picture was the saleswoman who drove the car to my house, said hello, then hopped in the passenger seat

Spasoje > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras
01/07/2016 at 17:29

Ah. Even so, your experience was a billion times better than mine... I’m glad you enjoyed it!

TheD0k_2many toys 2little time > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras
01/08/2016 at 00:35

try a launch in a 700+ whp evo and you will rethink that

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras
01/09/2016 at 01:13

Kinja'd!!!

This is a good steering wheel to look at imo. Same as the one in my parents MDX. Too bad they used fake wood, but that was par for the course in ‘01.